The formerly dead Father-In-Law:
Well let's see. About two days after my last mention here of him, Jim was extubated (removed from the breathing machine). He's made steady progress every day. My husband stayed by his side every single day and was exhausted on all levels. Any physical deficits eventually resolved themselves, he kept all his fine motor abilities. He's able to read, write, feed himself, take care of his own needs, etc. (This was a HUGE relief for him and for us.) Due to the time that his brain went without oxygen, he has what's called cognitive impairment. His long term memory is fine, but basically he has gaps in the memories of the last ten years or so -- details and people he's forgotten, or confuses. His short term memory was roughly that of a goldfish at first as well, but improves pretty steadily as we go. He can remember details from day to day now. He manages to have a sense of humor about it, but overall he's quite aware that he has an impairment and it does make him frustrated and angry at times. Plus he tries to compensate hard for it. On the whole though, his personality's intact and he knows his family -- so in that we're blessed.
I do feel bad about him having to reprocess so much information, it's got to be overwhelming. He knew Chris & I were together, but he didn't remember our wedding (he was Chris's best man). He didn't remember his mother passing away, or one of his cats dying a few years ago. It's funny what the brain will and won't retain. He doesn't remember his messy divorce, but he was able to tell the cardiologist various ways that he'd be able to create a high energy RF field that could interfere with his new defibrillator.
Considering the circumstances, I decided that the family needed to circle the wagons. Not to mention the fact that my sister-in-law informed me (after spending a week with him), that my husband was becoming an unmanageable ogre without his wife and kids. So in a totally covert mission, I got permission from the ex to grab the older two and packed all four of the monsters into the minivan for a cross-state outing. Oh my, what an adventure that was. Plus my needy husband calls me frequently and I had to keep coming up with reasons that I'd still be in the car with the kids (the younger two anyway). Obviously I hadn't rehearsed enough, because at one point I know that I told him I was going to Target to look at some baby clothes for a holiday family picture sitting. Now this means little to most, save for Dennis, who is probably giggling. Why? Because I've never seen the inside of a Target. I am the least shoppingest person out there. I hate people, I hate crowds and Walmart is only tolerable at midnight. While I recognize their emblem, that's as far as it goes. Thankfully Chris was so distracted that it never occurred to him to question it, other than to be bitchy about me not being home yet.
Six hours in the car later I've managed to get the miniature horde checked into the hotel and camped out in the room, one floor up from Chris's sister. She arranges for him to stop by for a drink and we answer the door. Happy surprises all around, and honestly it was all worth it -- the kids missed him so much it was painfully obvious. The next day we made it to see Jim and they got to see their grandfather sitting up and smiling. He knew them instantly and was thrilled to see them. Meredith sat with him on his hospital bed, completely unafraid in this strange environment. Every time he looked at her he'd start crooning, "You are so beautiful ... to me!" Eventually she curled up next to his leg, wrapped a little hand in his hospital blanket and feel asleep. This little tableau was so poignant for me, and drove home that I may bitch about my job -- but the fact is that every once in awhile, I may manage to be in the right place at the right time. That because of what I do, someone else is affected. I want my children to know their grandfather, and thanks to complete strangers now they may be able to.
Of course the road is long and bumpy. Now that the worst was over, they had to figure out the extent of what had happened. They did a cardiac catheterization following our visit and surprise surprise, the major blood vessel that feeds the heart (and I mean THE one) was 100% occluded. Not one teeny tiny corpuscle was making it down there. They have NO idea how he hasn't had a massive heart attack yet, because the blockage has been there for awhile and was hardened. Apparently all the moderate exercise he'd been working on to lose his weight had built up what we call collateral circulation, extra blood vessels, homemade bypass routes if you will. Anyway that became the next priority, but they were afraid to do the bypass due to his brain injury. Then there's the internal defibrillator, I loved this part. Because of what happens, he qualifies to have an internal defibrillator implanted in his chest to prevent the lethal arrythmia from ever happening again, or at least to intervene should it happen. This is an expensive proposition, procedure plus device goes for around $100K. Medicare's stance is that since he was getting the bypass done, that that should resolve his problem and therefore the AICD would not be necessary. So ... in order to get it put in, they have to prove that he will at some point go into another lethal rhythm. Apparently DYING once wasn't good enough, so they had to do a test where they induce the rhythm (then correct it hopefully), in order to prove he's susceptible. Then they can ok the defibrillator. So I said to the cardiologist that this was just like trying to get a restraining order taken out, you have to get killed before someone believes there's a problem.
Fast forward and the bypass gets done, the AICD gets put in and he's on the road to physical recovery. This past weekend he was moved to a rehab facility for cognitive therapy. We spoke to the caseworker yesterday and apparently physically he's doing fantastic. His insurance can only keep him till the 4th because he's doing great. The bad news? They are certain that at this stage he canNOT live independently. He cannot drive and just needs someone around to make sure he takes his meds and watches him for memory-induced problems. So option 1) Go home to live with his elderly sister, who runs a daycare in her home 5 days a week ... not so good. Option 2) an assisted living facility, most of which are expensive and have waiting lists. Then there's yep, option 3) he comes to stay with us (which my husband wanted all along). Now all of his extended family is in Pittsburgh, he's a Steelers cult member and doesn't really have anything outside of his family. He's also completely bullheaded (imagine that). So yesterday they ask him if perhaps he'd consider coming to live with his son and he immediately agrees and says yes, it's probably the best thing. Well now, color me surprised.
So let's see, Chris and I, au pair, four kids including baby ... now grandfather. Add three dogs, three cats and a fish on the fritz and I'm beginning to feel a bit overloaded. Can we do it? Of course
we'll manage, we always do. But it would be an absolute lie if I
wasn't terrified and dreading the additional stress and change this is
going to result in. I love Jim, I do. I'm going to have to put the
kids in one room, sleeping dorm-style and heaven help us if we have
company. The plus sides is that we'll be good for his recovery, the
kids will get to see him all the time and hey, we'll get an extra car
out of the deal. But if you're the praying type, please keep us in there
because I'm honestly scared that I won't be able to handle it all.
Well let's see. About two days after my last mention here of him, Jim was extubated (removed from the breathing machine). He's made steady progress every day. My husband stayed by his side every single day and was exhausted on all levels. Any physical deficits eventually resolved themselves, he kept all his fine motor abilities. He's able to read, write, feed himself, take care of his own needs, etc. (This was a HUGE relief for him and for us.) Due to the time that his brain went without oxygen, he has what's called cognitive impairment. His long term memory is fine, but basically he has gaps in the memories of the last ten years or so -- details and people he's forgotten, or confuses. His short term memory was roughly that of a goldfish at first as well, but improves pretty steadily as we go. He can remember details from day to day now. He manages to have a sense of humor about it, but overall he's quite aware that he has an impairment and it does make him frustrated and angry at times. Plus he tries to compensate hard for it. On the whole though, his personality's intact and he knows his family -- so in that we're blessed.
I do feel bad about him having to reprocess so much information, it's got to be overwhelming. He knew Chris & I were together, but he didn't remember our wedding (he was Chris's best man). He didn't remember his mother passing away, or one of his cats dying a few years ago. It's funny what the brain will and won't retain. He doesn't remember his messy divorce, but he was able to tell the cardiologist various ways that he'd be able to create a high energy RF field that could interfere with his new defibrillator.
Considering the circumstances, I decided that the family needed to circle the wagons. Not to mention the fact that my sister-in-law informed me (after spending a week with him), that my husband was becoming an unmanageable ogre without his wife and kids. So in a totally covert mission, I got permission from the ex to grab the older two and packed all four of the monsters into the minivan for a cross-state outing. Oh my, what an adventure that was. Plus my needy husband calls me frequently and I had to keep coming up with reasons that I'd still be in the car with the kids (the younger two anyway). Obviously I hadn't rehearsed enough, because at one point I know that I told him I was going to Target to look at some baby clothes for a holiday family picture sitting. Now this means little to most, save for Dennis, who is probably giggling. Why? Because I've never seen the inside of a Target. I am the least shoppingest person out there. I hate people, I hate crowds and Walmart is only tolerable at midnight. While I recognize their emblem, that's as far as it goes. Thankfully Chris was so distracted that it never occurred to him to question it, other than to be bitchy about me not being home yet.
Six hours in the car later I've managed to get the miniature horde checked into the hotel and camped out in the room, one floor up from Chris's sister. She arranges for him to stop by for a drink and we answer the door. Happy surprises all around, and honestly it was all worth it -- the kids missed him so much it was painfully obvious. The next day we made it to see Jim and they got to see their grandfather sitting up and smiling. He knew them instantly and was thrilled to see them. Meredith sat with him on his hospital bed, completely unafraid in this strange environment. Every time he looked at her he'd start crooning, "You are so beautiful ... to me!" Eventually she curled up next to his leg, wrapped a little hand in his hospital blanket and feel asleep. This little tableau was so poignant for me, and drove home that I may bitch about my job -- but the fact is that every once in awhile, I may manage to be in the right place at the right time. That because of what I do, someone else is affected. I want my children to know their grandfather, and thanks to complete strangers now they may be able to.
Of course the road is long and bumpy. Now that the worst was over, they had to figure out the extent of what had happened. They did a cardiac catheterization following our visit and surprise surprise, the major blood vessel that feeds the heart (and I mean THE one) was 100% occluded. Not one teeny tiny corpuscle was making it down there. They have NO idea how he hasn't had a massive heart attack yet, because the blockage has been there for awhile and was hardened. Apparently all the moderate exercise he'd been working on to lose his weight had built up what we call collateral circulation, extra blood vessels, homemade bypass routes if you will. Anyway that became the next priority, but they were afraid to do the bypass due to his brain injury. Then there's the internal defibrillator, I loved this part. Because of what happens, he qualifies to have an internal defibrillator implanted in his chest to prevent the lethal arrythmia from ever happening again, or at least to intervene should it happen. This is an expensive proposition, procedure plus device goes for around $100K. Medicare's stance is that since he was getting the bypass done, that that should resolve his problem and therefore the AICD would not be necessary. So ... in order to get it put in, they have to prove that he will at some point go into another lethal rhythm. Apparently DYING once wasn't good enough, so they had to do a test where they induce the rhythm (then correct it hopefully), in order to prove he's susceptible. Then they can ok the defibrillator. So I said to the cardiologist that this was just like trying to get a restraining order taken out, you have to get killed before someone believes there's a problem.
Fast forward and the bypass gets done, the AICD gets put in and he's on the road to physical recovery. This past weekend he was moved to a rehab facility for cognitive therapy. We spoke to the caseworker yesterday and apparently physically he's doing fantastic. His insurance can only keep him till the 4th because he's doing great. The bad news? They are certain that at this stage he canNOT live independently. He cannot drive and just needs someone around to make sure he takes his meds and watches him for memory-induced problems. So option 1) Go home to live with his elderly sister, who runs a daycare in her home 5 days a week ... not so good. Option 2) an assisted living facility, most of which are expensive and have waiting lists. Then there's yep, option 3) he comes to stay with us (which my husband wanted all along). Now all of his extended family is in Pittsburgh, he's a Steelers cult member and doesn't really have anything outside of his family. He's also completely bullheaded (imagine that). So yesterday they ask him if perhaps he'd consider coming to live with his son and he immediately agrees and says yes, it's probably the best thing. Well now, color me surprised.
So let's see, Chris and I, au pair, four kids including baby ... now grandfather. Add three dogs, three cats and a fish on the fritz and I'm beginning to feel a bit overloaded.
On the work front:
Turns out that all my angst over whether or not to take the Chief's job turned out to be moot. After successfully going through three seperate interviews, the final
phase was them turning their selection over to the hospital for final approval. Well turns out that approximately 4 hours before this was to happen, the hospital froze and then eradicated all unfilled positions across the board in response to a financial crisis. This included the training supervisor's job. So turns out that my decision was made for me and for now I'm back on the box, so to speak -- stomping out disease and pestilence whereever it may be and fighting the forces of evil in my spare time. Ok perhaps it's not that dramatic, but it did mean I had to go out and buy some winter gear for another year, dammit!
Turns out that all my angst over whether or not to take the Chief's job turned out to be moot. After successfully going through three seperate interviews, the final
phase was them turning their selection over to the hospital for final approval. Well turns out that approximately 4 hours before this was to happen, the hospital froze and then eradicated all unfilled positions across the board in response to a financial crisis. This included the training supervisor's job. So turns out that my decision was made for me and for now I'm back on the box, so to speak -- stomping out disease and pestilence whereever it may be and fighting the forces of evil in my spare time. Ok perhaps it's not that dramatic, but it did mean I had to go out and buy some winter gear for another year, dammit!
Kids et al:
Meredith is rapidly approaching ten months of age and it is just amazing to see the differences between her and James as they grow. Some I can attribute to his hearing loss, for example Meredith is WAY more vocal than James was. She sings, does a half dozen syllables, and is a great mimic. She can blow kisses and clap hands and has a horrid temper which manifests in random shrieks that sound suspiciously like a pterodactyl and grating everyone's nerves. She's teething currently which makes her such a joy to deal with. ;) Her hair's growing in, she has baby ringlets and we're heading for strawberry blonde. Eyes are starting to look more like James's, as in more grey than blue, difference is that hers have a dark rim.
James is in kindergarten and I actually had a seperate post planned for that, the heartbreak of his first steps away. He adores school and his teacher is awesome. He loves the schoolbus with an absolute passion, funny - I don't remember riding to school as an amusement park ride, but that's how he acts. His language is doing great, he gets speech and hearing therapy each week. Only problem is that both tubes have come out of his ears, and he's increasingly complaining of being unable to hear me. Looks like we may end up back in the hospital to fix it.
We finally found a new au pair for the family. Her name is Sabrina, she's from Meersburg, Germany and lives on the coast of Lake Constance. This was after two months of searching and interviews and speaking with Serbians, Chezc, Turks, oh my! She has a lot of parallels to Rina, though I won't kid myself that I will be able to find another au pair like her.
Meredith is rapidly approaching ten months of age and it is just amazing to see the differences between her and James as they grow. Some I can attribute to his hearing loss, for example Meredith is WAY more vocal than James was. She sings, does a half dozen syllables, and is a great mimic. She can blow kisses and clap hands and has a horrid temper which manifests in random shrieks that sound suspiciously like a pterodactyl and grating everyone's nerves. She's teething currently which makes her such a joy to deal with. ;) Her hair's growing in, she has baby ringlets and we're heading for strawberry blonde. Eyes are starting to look more like James's, as in more grey than blue, difference is that hers have a dark rim.
James is in kindergarten and I actually had a seperate post planned for that, the heartbreak of his first steps away. He adores school and his teacher is awesome. He loves the schoolbus with an absolute passion, funny - I don't remember riding to school as an amusement park ride, but that's how he acts. His language is doing great, he gets speech and hearing therapy each week. Only problem is that both tubes have come out of his ears, and he's increasingly complaining of being unable to hear me. Looks like we may end up back in the hospital to fix it.
We finally found a new au pair for the family. Her name is Sabrina, she's from Meersburg, Germany and lives on the coast of Lake Constance. This was after two months of searching and interviews and speaking with Serbians, Chezc, Turks, oh my! She has a lot of parallels to Rina, though I won't kid myself that I will be able to find another au pair like her.
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