So here in this little nook of the internet, I wish all of my long and dear friends a Happy and Healthy New Year -- may you be able to wring the coming months of all the happiness and success that they're able to give up. May you have moments where your heart sings, where your breath is taken away, and where you are brought to tears with something other than pain. May you take at least one quiet night to step outside and look up, realizing that when you do, your loved ones are all looking at the same stars and are not so very far away from your heart.
And with that out of the way ... what else has been going on?
The holidays were nice, simple but nice. We're still strapped, but moving forward. If we stay according to plan we'll be in much better shape by September of this year. We managed not to overdo Christmas. Chris and I really didn't exchange much of anything, focusing all on the kids. The grandparents and aunt were a big help. We celebrated Yule here on the 27th with just a few friends and folks from Chris's group. We were both actually off on New Year's Eve and had no idea what normal people do for that. So we hung out with the kids and watched the ball drop, then drifted upstairs to bed, content to call it a year.
I'm approaching my one year since leaving DragonRealms. I miss it, I do. I miss the fun that I used to have there and I certainly miss some of the people, though happily some have still stayed in touch. Ultimately it was the best decision that I've made for me in years. I do not think I was ever aware of the amount of investment I was making with no return. Plus I was at the point where I just was not contributing to my potential, I'm sure my departure didn't even ripple. Walking away from it was as if I'd been walking in knee-deep mud for so long and now my footing is on solid ground again. I did dabble in a couple of games afterward, but I walked away from them too. I just don't want to get sucked in again. I'm focused on other things right now, I'm more invested in my marriage and family and it was the right thing to do for me. There were toxic people in my life as a result of gaming and it's an absolute relief to have nothing more to do with them. The sudden sense of isolation was difficult at first, now it doesn't matter. I rarely put my AIM on, though I think you can access me via it to my phone. I do use Gtalk daily -- mainly because it's what my husband uses and so he can reach me in my office. It was an odd adjustment not plugging into the message matrix daily, and having my lists go from triple digits down to a dozen or less. But anyone who wants to reach me can and if you want any contact information you can't find here, just ask. I'm very active on Facebook right now, and you can find me on Plaxo too.
Professionally I'm doing well. I'm overdo for my yearly evaluation as a training chief. I expressed some concern about my performance to my boss in my last monthly report and his response was, "You're doing a better job at your job than I could do...and about anyone else for that matter." So I guess that means I'm chugging along. My first article outline was accepted by a national trade journal -- I finished the article two days ago and am working on revisions this weekend. She wants two more outlines as well so it looks like I will be published by the time I'm 40. Yay! I also have a strongly worded suggestion that I develop some talks and consider speaking at some of the national conferences. Absolutely terrifying thought but what a great opportunity.
The neurologist can't tell me what's in my brain. He can tell me what it's not -- it's not Multiple Sclerosis, Lyme's Disease or even Lupus. It's not rare early-Alzheimer's or Parkinson's. But he's not willing to say it's artifact and he's not sure what it is. He said it's probably not a mass, because it wasn't "bright enough" under contrast, but he's not committing to that either. I told him that this was not a very satisfying answer, but what else is there to do? I go back in June to repeat the whole freaking process over and see if it changes size or shape. Oh, unless I become symptomatic between now and then of course ...
So now that the head is under control I guess we can't leave well enough alone. Shortly before Christmas I was driving to work for yet another double when I had an episode of palpitations and chest tightness. I noted the time, tracked the symptoms and generally went on with my day. And if any of you have anyone in health care you will understand that our control issues make us some of the WORST patients ever. Anyway I was ok the rest of the day. I continued to have episodes off and on for a couple of days, no pain or anything, mostly just the palpitations. On Sunday after the holiday I got up to go to the office. I made it a mile from my house and it felt like I got kicked in the chest and this time I broke out into a cold sweat. So ... I pulled over and had a ten minute debate with myself about it. Ultimately I decided that if I were my own patient I know what I would say, so I made the right turn and drove to the hospital. When they put me on the monitor they were like, "Guess what? It's not all in your head." So six hours and multiple tests later I got sent home pending a cardiology evaluation. Again what is it not? Well it wasn't a heart attack (yay me), a blood clot in my heart or lungs (yay again) and all of my bloodwork came up good. Even my blood pressure was ok and my borderline diabetes test from last year now comes up within normal range. What it is is a dysrythmia, for some reason my ventricles are having episodes where they're kicking out extra beats when they shouldn't -- that's what I'm feeling in my chest when it happens. So now I'm on aspirin and a drug that makes me have LOTS of dreams and thus I do not sleep that well, but I'm highly entertained at least. I see the cardiologist on the 12th and I have to rush back to the hospital if I get a prolonged episode or have actualy pain. Oh and by the way ... I work too much, don't get enough sleep, am mildly dehydrated most of the time and my diet sucks. Upshot? It aint the coffee.
The kids are doing really well. Heidi's currently waiting to hear her results from a placement test which will allow her to attend one of NYC's technical high schools. She's decided that she wants to be an aeronautical engineer and really has her eye on the prize. She's ridiculously smart and works hard. Other than that it's typical goth-flavored teenager stuff. She going to be the beautiful nerd that catches everyone off-guard with her brilliance. Owen's doing so much better in school this year. He's the gamer kid, the skater, the athletic one. It's so much better than a couple of years ago. He shows real talent in the kitchen and of the four of them he's my sous chef, he's actually made noises that that's what he'd like to do. James's hearing is around the same, gets a little worse in the winter. I'm looking for some sign language classes for us to attend, maybe over the summer. I really feel he needs to be prepared with alternate communication, just in case. His teacher this year is awesome, much better than last year. She works well with him and doesn't take his drama seriously. He's above his grade in all his subjects. He also reads at 72 words per minute according to the testing, which they were flabbergasted by -- until I pointed out that all the TVs at home are on closed captioning so he can enjoy his shows. He's a normal, annoying seven-year old, who wears orange paisley hearing aids and is ok with that.
As for the Evil Diva, little Miss Meredith Skye? She is amazing, even if I wasn't biased she'd be amazing. She speaks in 5 word sentences, can tell you what a fossil is, can count over 20, do simple math and sight words, draws pictures with faces and advanced problem solving? Forget about it. And she won't even be three until this coming Monday. Ever since she's been old enough to make her first choice everything has to be on her terms. She spends more time in time-out than any of the others did at her age. She has strawberry blond curls down to the middle of her back, huge grey eyes and I really cannot wait to see what she does with her powers.
I think that's all the news that's I can think of right now.
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