Morning Randomness

In re-reading my last post, it occurs to me that it may sound like I'm more depressed over James's issues than is probably the case. I don't think that's true, I know that I'm over the worst of it really. He really likes his hearing aids and wears them all day without complaint. His language is improving by leaps and bounds and I look forward to his attempts at spontaneous conversation. He even sings and "reads" to his sister all the time, which just completely melts me every time -- see if you can resist ...

Helena was actually out here for a visit last week, it was so wonderful to see her. She brought a guest with her from Holland, he said he was looking forward to meeting a "typical" American family. (chokes) Needless to say I think we had a very good time and he left here with his team winning their World Cup match at the time and enjoying triple cheeseburgers from Wendy's, WalMart and learning what a Jack & Coke was. We also got to visit Columcille (www.columcille.org). It's pretty awesome when you have something as cool as a megalith park and meditation center right near your house.

One of things Helena said to me afterwards was really nice. She said that while she's very aware of our personal challenges, that it was very obvious that we had a loving family and that you could feel that love and general happiness in the house. I think that may have been a small epiphany for me, it reminded me of "Under The Tuscan Sun." At the end, the fresh water flowing from the old faucet as she realizes she had created the full life she'd been searching for.

So why am I taking my son to see "Cars" if I have to use rolled change to do it? Because with his hearing aids a movie all about cars is just the ticket to a really happy kid.

In other news, Child Services called ...

"Yes ma'am we realize this is a serious matter, but you see -- her father thinks he's a comedian."

Enjoy the day. :)

Belated Father's Day

I wrote this for my husband, who was kindof bummed that we didn't get to see his older children on Father's Day or just get more time together. I like it, and offer it up to all the Daddies out there, especially my friend Dennis.
 
Feel free to pass it on to any Dads who you think may be feeling taken for granted.

Father’s Day

A small hand tucks itself into yours.
The lightest touch and your soul soars.
Your eyes within a tiny face,
Each smile bringing a state of grace.

The work is hard, the hours so long.
The whispers of fear in a world so wrong.
Must protect and love them well,
How they will fare you cannot tell.

I wonder do they notice when you don’t sleep?
Small sacrifice for a promise to keep.
Do they know that you’re not mad?
Exhaustion is what makes your world so bad.

Yes they notice and yes they care.
They’ll tuck you in and stroke your hair.
They know that Daddy works so hard,
And sometimes only needs a card.

A reminder that the seeds you planted,
Never take your love for granted.
That as time passes and how well they grow,
They remember the love and strength you show.

Family is as family does,
They do know how their Father loves.
When your day is long and spirit beat,
Allow yourself this small retreat.

That when those eyes close at night,
They know love and they know right.
When each smiles at you in their own way,
Then every day is Father’s Day.




(A Skye-baby smile, just for her Dad.)

Lieutenant Dan! Magic Ears!

June always seems so busy. The midpoint of the year, things start / stop -- school ends, camps begin and the weather eventually settles down. The beginning of this June saw James at his first graduation. He graduated from Pre-K successfully. ;) They did a really cute recital of a bunch of songs and dances and the school director gave her teary-eyed farewell to another class. James was the first one to come out and actually participated in about half the songs before giving up and sitting in his seat. I'm sure it was chaotic and overwhelming for him. Unfortunately I can't seem to get him to understand that there's no more "Yellow School," as he asks to go just about every day.

Graduation!



The school offers a summer reading program, designed to really give him a boost for Kindergarten. He loves writing and can read some sight words already, his teacher feels that even with the hearing issues he should be able to keep up. So he'll be back in school for July.

Magic Ears!


On Flag Day James finally got his hearing aids! In true James style he took them completely in stride, no adjustment period necessary. We put them in, turned them on and voila! He realized immediately that they were helping him hear and takes great care with them (for a 4 and a half year old anyway). Which is good because at $3500 for the pair, we can't afford it to be otherwise. The ear molds are dalmation-spotted at his request -- 102 Dalmations was the movie of the month when we ordered the ear molds. (g)

We started taking him to Special Ed twice a week back in March, so he was in school four days a week between that and his Pre-K. He goes for speech and hearing therapy, along with repeat evaluations and social exercises. They're on break now, he'll resume in July for one more month and then be done with it -- he integrates into normal Kindergarten in the fall.

His teachers are absolutely wonderful and they adore him. He likes going and has definitely benefited from the experience. However, all that being said I will be glad when it's over. I cry every single time I drop him off. I can't help it, it's just a hard adjustment. He's in a small group and is the (very obviously) highest functioning child in the class. The ladies tell me he's very good with the disabled children and is very helpful to them at playtime, but you can see his confusion sometimes. That he knows that something is different with the children when he tries to interact with them. The other parents are actually nicer than most of the ones at Pre-K and the children are great. But when the teachers come out to collect/herd them in at drop-off, he kisses me good-bye and trustingly puts his hand in Ms. Cheryl's and I watch him walk in. Then I get back in my van and cry as I drive home.

I try to figure out why this is and I think it's just frustration. This is my perfect little boy, he's not supposed to have anything permanent "wrong" with him. He's not supposed to rely on devices or be limited in any way, restricted for reasons not of his own making. I dread the day that the other children decide to focus on his small difference, I would spare him the pain and confusion that will come from mean small-minded people. His differences should be of his choosing, his unique personality, not forced upon him for whatever reason this happened. Yet his road begins with a little more burden than I think is fair and all I can do is help him carry it, I can't take it away. That's why Mommy cries on the ride home.

Though I will share this story, from when the process first began. In our first "IEP" meeting, when we were deciding what his therapy and educational needs would be, we met with his Special Ed teachers, speech therapist and the school board person, etc. As they laid out his evaluation and plans, they were very painfully, obviously trying NOT to use the actual term "Special Ed" in any form. Granted we had come from work and were in uniform, and my husband can be scary-looking but I mean they were really pussyfooting around the term. I think they were just worried that we'd be upset or feel that James was being labeled, I don't know. Finally we said to them, "Look ladies it's ok. We know he has additional needs and we want to get him whatever he needs to be successful, so it's really alright." Anyway the meeting went fine and we went home with all the paperwork and folder full of welcome packet, etc. So we go home and I open the folder to read the class information and what do I see? What's the first thing in the folder, right on top, glaring out at me?

An application for the Special Olympics. Go figure. ;)