One giant leap into the future!
The Divine Ms. M actually took her first two steps today. Today the living room, tomorrow the world!!!
That is all. :)
Posts
Not giving up.
1 day ago
Sunday, October 29, 2006
Saturday, October 28, 2006
October
Since I appear to have little else to do at the
moment, I guess I can work on a bevy of updates on the roller coaster
that's been our lives of the last few weeks. Pick a topic, any topic
...
The formerly dead Father-In-Law:
Well let's see. About two days after my last mention here of him, Jim was extubated (removed from the breathing machine). He's made steady progress every day. My husband stayed by his side every single day and was exhausted on all levels. Any physical deficits eventually resolved themselves, he kept all his fine motor abilities. He's able to read, write, feed himself, take care of his own needs, etc. (This was a HUGE relief for him and for us.) Due to the time that his brain went without oxygen, he has what's called cognitive impairment. His long term memory is fine, but basically he has gaps in the memories of the last ten years or so -- details and people he's forgotten, or confuses. His short term memory was roughly that of a goldfish at first as well, but improves pretty steadily as we go. He can remember details from day to day now. He manages to have a sense of humor about it, but overall he's quite aware that he has an impairment and it does make him frustrated and angry at times. Plus he tries to compensate hard for it. On the whole though, his personality's intact and he knows his family -- so in that we're blessed.
I do feel bad about him having to reprocess so much information, it's got to be overwhelming. He knew Chris & I were together, but he didn't remember our wedding (he was Chris's best man). He didn't remember his mother passing away, or one of his cats dying a few years ago. It's funny what the brain will and won't retain. He doesn't remember his messy divorce, but he was able to tell the cardiologist various ways that he'd be able to create a high energy RF field that could interfere with his new defibrillator.
Considering the circumstances, I decided that the family needed to circle the wagons. Not to mention the fact that my sister-in-law informed me (after spending a week with him), that my husband was becoming an unmanageable ogre without his wife and kids. So in a totally covert mission, I got permission from the ex to grab the older two and packed all four of the monsters into the minivan for a cross-state outing. Oh my, what an adventure that was. Plus my needy husband calls me frequently and I had to keep coming up with reasons that I'd still be in the car with the kids (the younger two anyway). Obviously I hadn't rehearsed enough, because at one point I know that I told him I was going to Target to look at some baby clothes for a holiday family picture sitting. Now this means little to most, save for Dennis, who is probably giggling. Why? Because I've never seen the inside of a Target. I am the least shoppingest person out there. I hate people, I hate crowds and Walmart is only tolerable at midnight. While I recognize their emblem, that's as far as it goes. Thankfully Chris was so distracted that it never occurred to him to question it, other than to be bitchy about me not being home yet.
Six hours in the car later I've managed to get the miniature horde checked into the hotel and camped out in the room, one floor up from Chris's sister. She arranges for him to stop by for a drink and we answer the door. Happy surprises all around, and honestly it was all worth it -- the kids missed him so much it was painfully obvious. The next day we made it to see Jim and they got to see their grandfather sitting up and smiling. He knew them instantly and was thrilled to see them. Meredith sat with him on his hospital bed, completely unafraid in this strange environment. Every time he looked at her he'd start crooning, "You are so beautiful ... to me!" Eventually she curled up next to his leg, wrapped a little hand in his hospital blanket and feel asleep. This little tableau was so poignant for me, and drove home that I may bitch about my job -- but the fact is that every once in awhile, I may manage to be in the right place at the right time. That because of what I do, someone else is affected. I want my children to know their grandfather, and thanks to complete strangers now they may be able to.
Of course the road is long and bumpy. Now that the worst was over, they had to figure out the extent of what had happened. They did a cardiac catheterization following our visit and surprise surprise, the major blood vessel that feeds the heart (and I mean THE one) was 100% occluded. Not one teeny tiny corpuscle was making it down there. They have NO idea how he hasn't had a massive heart attack yet, because the blockage has been there for awhile and was hardened. Apparently all the moderate exercise he'd been working on to lose his weight had built up what we call collateral circulation, extra blood vessels, homemade bypass routes if you will. Anyway that became the next priority, but they were afraid to do the bypass due to his brain injury. Then there's the internal defibrillator, I loved this part. Because of what happens, he qualifies to have an internal defibrillator implanted in his chest to prevent the lethal arrythmia from ever happening again, or at least to intervene should it happen. This is an expensive proposition, procedure plus device goes for around $100K. Medicare's stance is that since he was getting the bypass done, that that should resolve his problem and therefore the AICD would not be necessary. So ... in order to get it put in, they have to prove that he will at some point go into another lethal rhythm. Apparently DYING once wasn't good enough, so they had to do a test where they induce the rhythm (then correct it hopefully), in order to prove he's susceptible. Then they can ok the defibrillator. So I said to the cardiologist that this was just like trying to get a restraining order taken out, you have to get killed before someone believes there's a problem.
Fast forward and the bypass gets done, the AICD gets put in and he's on the road to physical recovery. This past weekend he was moved to a rehab facility for cognitive therapy. We spoke to the caseworker yesterday and apparently physically he's doing fantastic. His insurance can only keep him till the 4th because he's doing great. The bad news? They are certain that at this stage he canNOT live independently. He cannot drive and just needs someone around to make sure he takes his meds and watches him for memory-induced problems. So option 1) Go home to live with his elderly sister, who runs a daycare in her home 5 days a week ... not so good. Option 2) an assisted living facility, most of which are expensive and have waiting lists. Then there's yep, option 3) he comes to stay with us (which my husband wanted all along). Now all of his extended family is in Pittsburgh, he's a Steelers cult member and doesn't really have anything outside of his family. He's also completely bullheaded (imagine that). So yesterday they ask him if perhaps he'd consider coming to live with his son and he immediately agrees and says yes, it's probably the best thing. Well now, color me surprised.
So let's see, Chris and I, au pair, four kids including baby ... now grandfather. Add three dogs, three cats and a fish on the fritz and I'm beginning to feel a bit overloaded. Can we do it? Of course
we'll manage, we always do. But it would be an absolute lie if I
wasn't terrified and dreading the additional stress and change this is
going to result in. I love Jim, I do. I'm going to have to put the
kids in one room, sleeping dorm-style and heaven help us if we have
company. The plus sides is that we'll be good for his recovery, the
kids will get to see him all the time and hey, we'll get an extra car
out of the deal. But if you're the praying type, please keep us in there
because I'm honestly scared that I won't be able to handle it all.
Well let's see. About two days after my last mention here of him, Jim was extubated (removed from the breathing machine). He's made steady progress every day. My husband stayed by his side every single day and was exhausted on all levels. Any physical deficits eventually resolved themselves, he kept all his fine motor abilities. He's able to read, write, feed himself, take care of his own needs, etc. (This was a HUGE relief for him and for us.) Due to the time that his brain went without oxygen, he has what's called cognitive impairment. His long term memory is fine, but basically he has gaps in the memories of the last ten years or so -- details and people he's forgotten, or confuses. His short term memory was roughly that of a goldfish at first as well, but improves pretty steadily as we go. He can remember details from day to day now. He manages to have a sense of humor about it, but overall he's quite aware that he has an impairment and it does make him frustrated and angry at times. Plus he tries to compensate hard for it. On the whole though, his personality's intact and he knows his family -- so in that we're blessed.
I do feel bad about him having to reprocess so much information, it's got to be overwhelming. He knew Chris & I were together, but he didn't remember our wedding (he was Chris's best man). He didn't remember his mother passing away, or one of his cats dying a few years ago. It's funny what the brain will and won't retain. He doesn't remember his messy divorce, but he was able to tell the cardiologist various ways that he'd be able to create a high energy RF field that could interfere with his new defibrillator.
Considering the circumstances, I decided that the family needed to circle the wagons. Not to mention the fact that my sister-in-law informed me (after spending a week with him), that my husband was becoming an unmanageable ogre without his wife and kids. So in a totally covert mission, I got permission from the ex to grab the older two and packed all four of the monsters into the minivan for a cross-state outing. Oh my, what an adventure that was. Plus my needy husband calls me frequently and I had to keep coming up with reasons that I'd still be in the car with the kids (the younger two anyway). Obviously I hadn't rehearsed enough, because at one point I know that I told him I was going to Target to look at some baby clothes for a holiday family picture sitting. Now this means little to most, save for Dennis, who is probably giggling. Why? Because I've never seen the inside of a Target. I am the least shoppingest person out there. I hate people, I hate crowds and Walmart is only tolerable at midnight. While I recognize their emblem, that's as far as it goes. Thankfully Chris was so distracted that it never occurred to him to question it, other than to be bitchy about me not being home yet.
Six hours in the car later I've managed to get the miniature horde checked into the hotel and camped out in the room, one floor up from Chris's sister. She arranges for him to stop by for a drink and we answer the door. Happy surprises all around, and honestly it was all worth it -- the kids missed him so much it was painfully obvious. The next day we made it to see Jim and they got to see their grandfather sitting up and smiling. He knew them instantly and was thrilled to see them. Meredith sat with him on his hospital bed, completely unafraid in this strange environment. Every time he looked at her he'd start crooning, "You are so beautiful ... to me!" Eventually she curled up next to his leg, wrapped a little hand in his hospital blanket and feel asleep. This little tableau was so poignant for me, and drove home that I may bitch about my job -- but the fact is that every once in awhile, I may manage to be in the right place at the right time. That because of what I do, someone else is affected. I want my children to know their grandfather, and thanks to complete strangers now they may be able to.
Of course the road is long and bumpy. Now that the worst was over, they had to figure out the extent of what had happened. They did a cardiac catheterization following our visit and surprise surprise, the major blood vessel that feeds the heart (and I mean THE one) was 100% occluded. Not one teeny tiny corpuscle was making it down there. They have NO idea how he hasn't had a massive heart attack yet, because the blockage has been there for awhile and was hardened. Apparently all the moderate exercise he'd been working on to lose his weight had built up what we call collateral circulation, extra blood vessels, homemade bypass routes if you will. Anyway that became the next priority, but they were afraid to do the bypass due to his brain injury. Then there's the internal defibrillator, I loved this part. Because of what happens, he qualifies to have an internal defibrillator implanted in his chest to prevent the lethal arrythmia from ever happening again, or at least to intervene should it happen. This is an expensive proposition, procedure plus device goes for around $100K. Medicare's stance is that since he was getting the bypass done, that that should resolve his problem and therefore the AICD would not be necessary. So ... in order to get it put in, they have to prove that he will at some point go into another lethal rhythm. Apparently DYING once wasn't good enough, so they had to do a test where they induce the rhythm (then correct it hopefully), in order to prove he's susceptible. Then they can ok the defibrillator. So I said to the cardiologist that this was just like trying to get a restraining order taken out, you have to get killed before someone believes there's a problem.
Fast forward and the bypass gets done, the AICD gets put in and he's on the road to physical recovery. This past weekend he was moved to a rehab facility for cognitive therapy. We spoke to the caseworker yesterday and apparently physically he's doing fantastic. His insurance can only keep him till the 4th because he's doing great. The bad news? They are certain that at this stage he canNOT live independently. He cannot drive and just needs someone around to make sure he takes his meds and watches him for memory-induced problems. So option 1) Go home to live with his elderly sister, who runs a daycare in her home 5 days a week ... not so good. Option 2) an assisted living facility, most of which are expensive and have waiting lists. Then there's yep, option 3) he comes to stay with us (which my husband wanted all along). Now all of his extended family is in Pittsburgh, he's a Steelers cult member and doesn't really have anything outside of his family. He's also completely bullheaded (imagine that). So yesterday they ask him if perhaps he'd consider coming to live with his son and he immediately agrees and says yes, it's probably the best thing. Well now, color me surprised.
So let's see, Chris and I, au pair, four kids including baby ... now grandfather. Add three dogs, three cats and a fish on the fritz and I'm beginning to feel a bit overloaded.
On the work front:
Turns out that all my angst over whether or not to take the Chief's job turned out to be moot. After successfully going through three seperate interviews, the final
phase was them turning their selection over to the hospital for final approval. Well turns out that approximately 4 hours before this was to happen, the hospital froze and then eradicated all unfilled positions across the board in response to a financial crisis. This included the training supervisor's job. So turns out that my decision was made for me and for now I'm back on the box, so to speak -- stomping out disease and pestilence whereever it may be and fighting the forces of evil in my spare time. Ok perhaps it's not that dramatic, but it did mean I had to go out and buy some winter gear for another year, dammit!
Turns out that all my angst over whether or not to take the Chief's job turned out to be moot. After successfully going through three seperate interviews, the final
phase was them turning their selection over to the hospital for final approval. Well turns out that approximately 4 hours before this was to happen, the hospital froze and then eradicated all unfilled positions across the board in response to a financial crisis. This included the training supervisor's job. So turns out that my decision was made for me and for now I'm back on the box, so to speak -- stomping out disease and pestilence whereever it may be and fighting the forces of evil in my spare time. Ok perhaps it's not that dramatic, but it did mean I had to go out and buy some winter gear for another year, dammit!
Kids et al:
Meredith is rapidly approaching ten months of age and it is just amazing to see the differences between her and James as they grow. Some I can attribute to his hearing loss, for example Meredith is WAY more vocal than James was. She sings, does a half dozen syllables, and is a great mimic. She can blow kisses and clap hands and has a horrid temper which manifests in random shrieks that sound suspiciously like a pterodactyl and grating everyone's nerves. She's teething currently which makes her such a joy to deal with. ;) Her hair's growing in, she has baby ringlets and we're heading for strawberry blonde. Eyes are starting to look more like James's, as in more grey than blue, difference is that hers have a dark rim.
James is in kindergarten and I actually had a seperate post planned for that, the heartbreak of his first steps away. He adores school and his teacher is awesome. He loves the schoolbus with an absolute passion, funny - I don't remember riding to school as an amusement park ride, but that's how he acts. His language is doing great, he gets speech and hearing therapy each week. Only problem is that both tubes have come out of his ears, and he's increasingly complaining of being unable to hear me. Looks like we may end up back in the hospital to fix it.
We finally found a new au pair for the family. Her name is Sabrina, she's from Meersburg, Germany and lives on the coast of Lake Constance. This was after two months of searching and interviews and speaking with Serbians, Chezc, Turks, oh my! She has a lot of parallels to Rina, though I won't kid myself that I will be able to find another au pair like her.
Meredith is rapidly approaching ten months of age and it is just amazing to see the differences between her and James as they grow. Some I can attribute to his hearing loss, for example Meredith is WAY more vocal than James was. She sings, does a half dozen syllables, and is a great mimic. She can blow kisses and clap hands and has a horrid temper which manifests in random shrieks that sound suspiciously like a pterodactyl and grating everyone's nerves. She's teething currently which makes her such a joy to deal with. ;) Her hair's growing in, she has baby ringlets and we're heading for strawberry blonde. Eyes are starting to look more like James's, as in more grey than blue, difference is that hers have a dark rim.
James is in kindergarten and I actually had a seperate post planned for that, the heartbreak of his first steps away. He adores school and his teacher is awesome. He loves the schoolbus with an absolute passion, funny - I don't remember riding to school as an amusement park ride, but that's how he acts. His language is doing great, he gets speech and hearing therapy each week. Only problem is that both tubes have come out of his ears, and he's increasingly complaining of being unable to hear me. Looks like we may end up back in the hospital to fix it.
We finally found a new au pair for the family. Her name is Sabrina, she's from Meersburg, Germany and lives on the coast of Lake Constance. This was after two months of searching and interviews and speaking with Serbians, Chezc, Turks, oh my! She has a lot of parallels to Rina, though I won't kid myself that I will be able to find another au pair like her.
Wednesday, October 25, 2006
Curses, foiled again!
Last night I was feeling a little restless. It was late and the house
was quiet, so I figured I would take the opportunity to invest in a
little "just for mommy time." Nothing complicated, but perhaps in light
of the last several weeks just catching up on mommy maintenance to make
myself feel a little better about life in general. For all of you who
are mommies, or who know a mommy, or who have 25 hour days constantly
you know that of which I speak. It usually involves immersion in some
manner in hot water (for as long as you damn well please), then an
assortment of product applications that you maybe you save for just such
an occasion. Ambience can be candles, incense, anything that does NOT
smell like diaper cream or mildly used formula. Add perhaps a glass of
wine, a good book and music or dvd of your choice and you have maybe the
best hour or so of your life thus far. Yes yes yes, don't laugh. Just
because I wear combat boots for half my life does not mean that I
cannot appreciate a little femininity now and then!
So go check on the kids, including the loaner kid sleeping downstairs while his mom works, everyone's asleep. Slip upstairs to the bedroom with a bottle of white russian and something for a Hugh Jackman fix and close the door. All my treasures lay before me, including the Aveda moisturizers, the "Buffy" bar from LUSH, and my "save for when you need a boost" batch of new hair color (black with red highlights). All will shortly be right with the world, it's roughly 2am.
Now when I do decide to color my own hair, and especially if I'm changing the color -- it's not an easy task. My hair is somewhat long, but very thick. For me to change the color I need to saturate the ends and I can't do the whole thing in one shot. So two boxes and ALOT of mess later I've accomlished the task. I've piled the darkening mass atop my head and am rigorously scrubbing the purplish residue from my skin ... the floor ... the sink ... the walls, etc. I'm about to go on with my regime when I can hear it, faint at first but undeniable -- The Skootch is rousing.
I hurry into her room and do the usual things that can counteract the Awakening. I sing my silly tuneless song, I rub her back, play with hair, cover her up, the works. And nothing is working, she's still all over the place and the little cries are getting a bit stronger. Oh lord now we have eye fluttering, "Please please please honey, don't do this to Mommy." No such luck. The little diva begins to holler and will not be soothed. Keep in mind that I'm covered in hair dye and totally unable to give her the attention she's counting on. But if I let her holler she will eventually wake the entire house up. So I swing her under my arm and lug her into the bedroom. I figure laying on the featherbed in a dark room will help. Nothing, no good -- she's up and that's that. Meanwhile time is ticking and the dye is now starting to dry on my scalp -- visions of eggplants now dance in my head.
Eventually I end up waking up the poor au pair at 3am just to have her hold the Divine Ms. M so that mommy can go do a quick rinse in the shower. With a tiny sob I put away my exfoliating / moisturizing / good smelling treasures. Ahh perhaps next time my dear Buffy bar and Philosophy body souffle, until then fare thee well. I will say that she is teething right now and is utterly miserable as a result, so I will cut her some slack -- this time. She did proceed to stay awake and cling for four full hours, and succumbed to sleep only after the first grey light appeared at the window.
And despite all of that the hair color came out great. I still have dry skin and could use a scrub, but then again I knew what I was getting into when I signed on for the tour of duty. Besides ... they all have to sleep sometime, I'm sure I can find another hour to myself, someday.
So go check on the kids, including the loaner kid sleeping downstairs while his mom works, everyone's asleep. Slip upstairs to the bedroom with a bottle of white russian and something for a Hugh Jackman fix and close the door. All my treasures lay before me, including the Aveda moisturizers, the "Buffy" bar from LUSH, and my "save for when you need a boost" batch of new hair color (black with red highlights). All will shortly be right with the world, it's roughly 2am.
Now when I do decide to color my own hair, and especially if I'm changing the color -- it's not an easy task. My hair is somewhat long, but very thick. For me to change the color I need to saturate the ends and I can't do the whole thing in one shot. So two boxes and ALOT of mess later I've accomlished the task. I've piled the darkening mass atop my head and am rigorously scrubbing the purplish residue from my skin ... the floor ... the sink ... the walls, etc. I'm about to go on with my regime when I can hear it, faint at first but undeniable -- The Skootch is rousing.
I hurry into her room and do the usual things that can counteract the Awakening. I sing my silly tuneless song, I rub her back, play with hair, cover her up, the works. And nothing is working, she's still all over the place and the little cries are getting a bit stronger. Oh lord now we have eye fluttering, "Please please please honey, don't do this to Mommy." No such luck. The little diva begins to holler and will not be soothed. Keep in mind that I'm covered in hair dye and totally unable to give her the attention she's counting on. But if I let her holler she will eventually wake the entire house up. So I swing her under my arm and lug her into the bedroom. I figure laying on the featherbed in a dark room will help. Nothing, no good -- she's up and that's that. Meanwhile time is ticking and the dye is now starting to dry on my scalp -- visions of eggplants now dance in my head.
Eventually I end up waking up the poor au pair at 3am just to have her hold the Divine Ms. M so that mommy can go do a quick rinse in the shower. With a tiny sob I put away my exfoliating / moisturizing / good smelling treasures. Ahh perhaps next time my dear Buffy bar and Philosophy body souffle, until then fare thee well. I will say that she is teething right now and is utterly miserable as a result, so I will cut her some slack -- this time. She did proceed to stay awake and cling for four full hours, and succumbed to sleep only after the first grey light appeared at the window.
And despite all of that the hair color came out great. I still have dry skin and could use a scrub, but then again I knew what I was getting into when I signed on for the tour of duty. Besides ... they all have to sleep sometime, I'm sure I can find another hour to myself, someday.
Monday, October 2, 2006
72 Hours
So for the last few weeks I've been kicking myself to
compile a couple of decent updates one everything that's been going on,
when catastrophe struck, as catastrophes are wont to do ...
Tuesday
evening we were down by Philadelphia picking up a new bed for Heidi
when both our cell phones went off at about the same time -- rarely a
good sign. Chris's dad, who lives in Pittsburgh had gone into cardiac
arrest and there was very little information about his condition.
Jim and his sister go for a walk each day at a nearby park. After Tuesday's walk they get back in the car, as they're leaving the park he suddenly slows the car and slumps over the wheel, unresponsive. His sister got the car stopped and bystanders pulled him from the car and called 911. A nurse happened to be in the park and walking nearby. She initiated CPR until the park police arrived. They had an AED (defibrillator) which shocked him twice and got a pulse back on him. Once the ambulance arrived they were only 5 minutes away from the closest hospital.
When we got the call at 8pm Jim was unresponsive and on the vent in the ED. Fast forward about 8 hours and we made it to Pittsburgh around 4:30am on Wednesday. By this time he was still unresponsive, but in the ICU and still alive. On the plus side he was physically fine otherwise -- his heart, lungs, kidneys, all his major systems were functioning very well. He'd been working hard in the last year to improve his health. He'd lost a hundred pounds, got a hip replacement, his diabetes and pressure were well under control. Unfortunately in almost any cardiac arrest the brain suffers damage as a result of oxygen deprivation, it's just a matter of how long and how much. There is no test that can predict the results or even determine what the damage or chance of recovery is. And 24 hours in things were looking very bad for him.
Wednesday and Thursday there wasn't much change, an improvement in responsiveness to stimulus -- but no purposeful movement. Eye opening but no focusing, posturing but nothing in response to voice, no following commands. Thursday afternoon the neurologist said the words "hypoxic ischemic injury to both hemispheres of the brain." He said he did not believe Jim would be lucid again, but that with these cases you needed to wait the full 72 hours to get a good picture on recovery. We broached the topics of "Do Not Resuscitate" orders and other unpleasant decisions that may arise. Our realm of experience told us that the chances of anything more at this point were slim at best, so we were prepared for some very difficult times. But we readily agreed to give him the full 72 hours before making any decisions at all.
When we got to the hospital on Friday morning we walked in expecting little change. Instead Jim heard Chris's voice and turned his head and looked directly at him. He was able to indicate yes and no, blink his eyes, and squeeze my hand on command. When the neurologist checked him tonight, he passed all the early tests. The overly serious neurologist actually smiled and said, "Some people just get lucky."
Yesterday he was even clearer, though he does appear to favor his left side. He was able to form words with his mouth, primarily "Take it out!" (Meaning the endotracheal tube) Today he could hold up two fingers with each hand, an indication of fine motor control and very good sign. He has no memories yet of the last week, both the arrest and the medications contribute to short term memory loss.
It's still a really long road ahead and we won't get a clearer picture of deficits and care needs until next week when he's extubated. But it looks like he may pull through intact and the kids will still have their grandfather. Chris's sister got me a flight home yesterday afternoon so that I could be with my kids and he wouldn't have to drive 12 hours round trip. I have to go back to work tomorrow night as it is. Because ya know ... there's no rest for weary, unless you're dead and even then you can't sleep. ;)
Jim and his sister go for a walk each day at a nearby park. After Tuesday's walk they get back in the car, as they're leaving the park he suddenly slows the car and slumps over the wheel, unresponsive. His sister got the car stopped and bystanders pulled him from the car and called 911. A nurse happened to be in the park and walking nearby. She initiated CPR until the park police arrived. They had an AED (defibrillator) which shocked him twice and got a pulse back on him. Once the ambulance arrived they were only 5 minutes away from the closest hospital.
When we got the call at 8pm Jim was unresponsive and on the vent in the ED. Fast forward about 8 hours and we made it to Pittsburgh around 4:30am on Wednesday. By this time he was still unresponsive, but in the ICU and still alive. On the plus side he was physically fine otherwise -- his heart, lungs, kidneys, all his major systems were functioning very well. He'd been working hard in the last year to improve his health. He'd lost a hundred pounds, got a hip replacement, his diabetes and pressure were well under control. Unfortunately in almost any cardiac arrest the brain suffers damage as a result of oxygen deprivation, it's just a matter of how long and how much. There is no test that can predict the results or even determine what the damage or chance of recovery is. And 24 hours in things were looking very bad for him.
Wednesday and Thursday there wasn't much change, an improvement in responsiveness to stimulus -- but no purposeful movement. Eye opening but no focusing, posturing but nothing in response to voice, no following commands. Thursday afternoon the neurologist said the words "hypoxic ischemic injury to both hemispheres of the brain." He said he did not believe Jim would be lucid again, but that with these cases you needed to wait the full 72 hours to get a good picture on recovery. We broached the topics of "Do Not Resuscitate" orders and other unpleasant decisions that may arise. Our realm of experience told us that the chances of anything more at this point were slim at best, so we were prepared for some very difficult times. But we readily agreed to give him the full 72 hours before making any decisions at all.
When we got to the hospital on Friday morning we walked in expecting little change. Instead Jim heard Chris's voice and turned his head and looked directly at him. He was able to indicate yes and no, blink his eyes, and squeeze my hand on command. When the neurologist checked him tonight, he passed all the early tests. The overly serious neurologist actually smiled and said, "Some people just get lucky."
Yesterday he was even clearer, though he does appear to favor his left side. He was able to form words with his mouth, primarily "Take it out!" (Meaning the endotracheal tube) Today he could hold up two fingers with each hand, an indication of fine motor control and very good sign. He has no memories yet of the last week, both the arrest and the medications contribute to short term memory loss.
It's still a really long road ahead and we won't get a clearer picture of deficits and care needs until next week when he's extubated. But it looks like he may pull through intact and the kids will still have their grandfather. Chris's sister got me a flight home yesterday afternoon so that I could be with my kids and he wouldn't have to drive 12 hours round trip. I have to go back to work tomorrow night as it is. Because ya know ... there's no rest for weary, unless you're dead and even then you can't sleep. ;)
Well, the humor's intact ...
They took him off the ventilator this morning. So now he's not only
moving, but he can speak again. He remembers walking in the park that
day and nothing since. He definitely recognizes family though this
morning he did not use a single name. It's required patiences as he
forgets what happened and you have to often retell the story. Chris
showed him a picture of one of the grandkids and said that he didn't
really grasp who it was, which was troubling.
A couple of hours later Chris calls me to tell me that he almost "punched the old man." I of course asked why. Chris was talking to him about all the people who've been visiting. He remembered that I'd been there and asked where I was. Chris told him that I'd had to fly home to be with the kids. He looked at Chris in surprise and said, "What kids?!?"
Then my husband was nice and worked up about it he just smiled and said, "Just joking."
So yes, things are looking better. Except that I have to go back to work tonight, blech.
A couple of hours later Chris calls me to tell me that he almost "punched the old man." I of course asked why. Chris was talking to him about all the people who've been visiting. He remembered that I'd been there and asked where I was. Chris told him that I'd had to fly home to be with the kids. He looked at Chris in surprise and said, "What kids?!?"
Then my husband was nice and worked up about it he just smiled and said, "Just joking."
So yes, things are looking better. Except that I have to go back to work tonight, blech.
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